Let It Be Me Read online

  With no desire to impress anyone, I put on some old skinny jeans, a red sweater and some black ballet flats. Oh, and I brushed my hair and teeth but that was the extent of it.

  Walking into the kitchen, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Shelby sitting at the table with a bacon and scrambled eggs breakfast. The part that baffled me wasn't her choice but who must have cooked it. Our mother hadn't lifted a finger to cook in over ten years.

  "Did you want some, Arianna? Mommy can make breakfast now! Isn't that cool?"

  I glanced over at my mother but she never raised her eyes to meet mine which came by no surprise.

  Grabbing a banana, I turned from the room looking back over my shoulder at my little sister. "No, thanks. A banana will do. Make sure you give them your best, Shelby. They'll love you just like I do."

  Once I was out of the house the first thing I noticed was the very old, extremely ugly, red pickup truck in the driveway.

  "What the hell?"

  I turned and walked straight back into the kitchen with my rage gunning right for my mother.

  "Where is MY car?"

  Of course she didn't look at me when she said, "There's a truck for you to drive outside."

  So she was going to make me ask again. Well, I was happy to play that game.

  "I saw the piece of crap. I asked where my car is. He promised it would be here today!"

  "Your father sold it."

  "He did WHAT? He can't do that! That was mine! How could you let him? You know what, never mind. You let him do whatever he wants. You have never defended me when it counts why would I think you would say something about a damn car that my REAL father paid for?"

  I didn't give her a chance to respond, but she wouldn't have anyway. She knew I was right. She knew what he forced me to do and she said nothing while I begged and pleaded for another option. She would never do anything to stop him or help me, her own daughter.

  Walking back out of the house, I stomped over to the hunk of shit, opened the door, hearing the creaking sound like it wanted to break off, and climbed in. The ripped seats didn't surprise me at all. Or the smell of cigarette smoke for that matter. One more of step-dick’s continued attempts to make me suffer. Mission accomplished.

  Turning the key, the whole thing started to shake. Honestly it felt like it was going to blow up when the engine finally turned over.

  "This is my life."

  Placing my foot on the brake I had to use all the strength I had just to pull the gear shift out of park.

  To say the ride to school was interesting would be a flat out lie. The drive was nothing but ten minutes of farm fields on either side of the road filled with rows of wheat. All I could think about was how much these people and I didn't have in common. I had no idea what to expect from any of students but at the same time, I knew it didn't matter. They would never welcome a new kid, especially one like me.

  My truck fit in with the rest of the crap parked in the school parking lot so I guess that's one positive thing that I had going for me. My Lexus would have stuck out like a sore thumb, bringing on attention I didn't want. Maybe he was actually doing something nice for a change? Ha! That is something worth laughing about.

  I gripped the steering wheel with both hands looking at the tiny school in front of me. "You can do this. It's only two more months."

  Grabbing my backpack and throwing it over my shoulder, I killed the ignition and slid out of the truck.

  I only made it fifteen steps before it started.

  "Hey, new girl, wait up! What's your name?"

  I heard someone shout it out but I didn't bother to turn around to see who was asking or to answer. I just walked a little quicker until I finally came in contact with the door that I had been focused on getting to. I pulled the handle back but a hand landed flat on the glass preventing me from being able to do anything more.

  "I asked you a question."

  Looking down at my feet, I wanted to stay quiet until he gave up but I knew it wouldn't work. If he took the initiative to catch up to me he wasn't going to stop.

  Spinning around, I placed both of my hands on his chest and pushed as hard as I could. "If I wanted to answer you I would have. Now get out of my way!"

  People seemed to come from out of nowhere and each and every one of them stopped to watch the drama unfold which was the last thing I wanted. I wished I had just kept my mouth shut.

  "Look, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be..."

  "A bitch."

  "I was going for rude but you can call me whatever it is you want. I really would just like to go to class if you don't mind."

  "Well the thing is, I do mind. Don't show up here and think you're better than..."

  "Stop it now!"

  I was so grateful someone interrupted him. The jerk standing in front of me was no shorter than six feet. His hair was shaved to his head and I would have actually considered him handsome had he not opened his mouth.

  Off to the left a staff member was charging toward us and the crowd seemed to take notice. She was on a mission and her size didn't seem to matter; they were scared of her regardless. One-by-one people started walking in different directions. When jerk boy decided to let go of the door, I saw my out and took it.

  Walking as fast as I could, I made it more than halfway down the hall before, "Miss, stop!" was heard.

  I kept walking until she caught up to me. Grabbing my shoulders, she forced me to give in to her will.

  "Honey, are you okay?"

  I turned to face her and the anger she was wearing outside was nowhere to be seen. Her whole demeanor was approachable— relaxed— and her eyes showed nothing but concern.

  "What's your name?"

  "Arianna."

  "Well, Arianna, it's very nice to meet you. We don't get many new kids at the school. It's a breath of fresh air to see a new face."

  "Thank you but I really need to get to the office for my schedule."

  "Do you happen to know where the office is, Arianna?"

  I looked down at my feet embarrassed to admit the answer was no.

  "I didn't think so. You are going in the wrong direction, sweetheart. Let me show you. I was going there anyway."

  I lifted my head to look in her eyes and sure enough she was sincere. The first person I had encountered in a long time to be so.

  "That would be great."

  We walked a few steps before I started to say something and realized I had no idea how to address her.

  "My name is Audrey Hemswith but you can just call me Mrs. Hemswith."

  "How did you know what I was thinking?"

  "It was kind of obvious that you didn't know my name. I hadn't given it to you yet."

  "Well that's true."

  I continued following her through the halls packed with students glaring at me like I sported two heads.

  "We're here."

  She led me through the double doors toward the first desk you came to in the room. Behind it sat a little old lady with a smile that could melt your heart.

  "Delilah, this is our new student Arianna Dubray. She needs her schedule."

  My head snapped in her direction with shock written all over it.

  "How did you know my last name?"

  With a simple smile she replied, "Like I said earlier, we don't get many new faces around here. We have been expecting you."

  She tapped the desk twice with both hands and then pushed herself off of it, taking a step back.

  "It was very nice meeting you, Arianna. I hope you enjoy your time with us."

  Then she walked away, disappearing through a door to the far right of the room.

  "So, here you go. Your first class will be Chemistry with Mr. Hull. It's right down the same hallway that brought you here on the right. Room 814."

  I took the piece of paper she was holding and glanced down at it. All of my classes were ones I had taken previously.

  "Ma'am, I have already studied these courses."

  "Yes, we know. Bu
t our curriculum doesn't have anything higher, dear. You are in all of our top flight classes. It was the best that we could do."

  Looking down at the paper again I smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. At least the rest of the school year would be a breeze academically.

  "Thank you very much."

  "You're welcome. Now get on to class. You don't want to be late."

  "No, ma'am, I don't."

  I turned and walked back through the doors ready for the day to be over before it even really began.

  My first three classes were filled with gawking students. Not one introduced themselves to me or even tried to make me feel welcome. The guys bore hungry eyes while the girls seemed to hate me before I was even given a chance. I wasn't surprised. My friends always reacted the same way to anyone new. I always thought they felt threatened so this didn't shock or disturb me. At least they were leaving me alone.

  Lunch was a different story. As soon as I entered the cafeteria I wished I had brought my food and ate it in my truck. The entire room went quiet as I neared the food line. All I could think about was Shelby as I prayed her day was going better than mine.

  "How has your day been going, Arianna? Classes seem okay?"

  The only one who seemed to care enough to even ask that question was Mrs. Hemswith so there was no need to look surprised when she came into view.

  "The teachers all seem to break down the subjects well for students to grasp the information."

  "And you? How has it been going for you?"

  "I am hanging in there."

  She took a step closer to me and dropped her voice low as to not be heard by the two students nearest me in line.

  "They are a tough bunch to infiltrate but I think you can handle them."

  "That's the thing, I have no desire to handle anyone. There is only two more months between me and eighteen and I can assure you I will leave this town as soon as that day comes."

  She took a step back this time before saying, "I sure hope something changes your mind. I would hate to see you go before you get a real chance to see that you belong."

  The line had moved forward so I took the few steps to advance with it but when I looked back, Mrs. Hemswith was no longer standing next to me, she was walking out of the room.

  "So, you seemed to buddy up with the principal pretty fast. Don't think that will help you though."

  I turned behind me and found what was apparently the most popular girl in school. How do I know this? Because you can always spot the leaders from the followers. Her golden blond hair hung almost to her waist with her blue eyes sparkling from the light spilling in through the windows. Cut-off jean shorts, a plaid button-up shirt and cowboy boots made this girl something that I am sure all the men in town wanted to have a slice of and the girls all wanted to not only like her but be her. Her three sidekicks were standing on each side of her proving my point.

  "I'm not looking for help. I just want to graduate and leave. Do you think you could call off the dogs and let me be?"

  "What makes you think I could call off anyone?"

  "Because you obviously hold the power. I'm not stupid, I used to be you at my old school."

  "Honey, you were never me."

  Her friends laughed as I waited for her to answer me.

  "Fine. You want to be left alone, you will get exactly that. But if you even think about going after one of our guys, deal’s off."

  If she only knew that was the furthest thing on my mind. If I could think about anyone other than Kale and what he did, it would be a Godsend. Men are all assholes that can't be trusted to do anything but break your heart and then stomp on it for good measure.

  "I can assure you, all of your guys are safe for you to keep."

  "We'll see, won't we?"

  I had nothing left to say to her so I turned around and grabbed a tray. The silence was bliss for as long as it lasted, which wasn't near long enough.

  "So, what made you move here anyways? I mean really, who moves at the end of their senior year?"

  I didn't answer. Who would want to? I knew nothing about this girl yet she wanted access to my deepest secrets. Placing the most disgusting slice of pizza on my tray, I skipped over what they considered seasoned carrots and went straight for the fruit bar.

  "You go asking me for favors and don't think you at least owe me answers? If I ask you something you damn well better answer me!"

  I let my head fall back while I looked up to the ceiling praying this day could just end already. But I wasn't getting that prayer answered, that was for sure.

  When I turned to find a table to sit down at, I was met by a wall made up of the leader and said followers.

  "Are you kidding me? What part of leave me alone didn't make sense to you?"

  All four of their mouths dropped open and mine followed when the reality of what I just did sank in.

  "You listen to me, don't fuck with me or I swear I will make your life a living hell."

  No thought went into what I was saying before I snapped, "Good luck! I'm already there!" and began sprinting from the room after dropping my tray at their feet.

  I found a bathroom down the hall and sprang for it. The sooner I could lock myself in a stall the better. As soon as I made it through the door, I sat down on the toilet seat and started to cry. I hated myself for being weak. Those girls didn't deserve my tears, neither did Kale or my step-dick for that matter. That didn't stop them from coming, though.

  I heard the door to the hall open and quickly started wiping my eyes. No sniffles or even blowing my nose was going to be heard. I had already given them enough ammo to take me down. I didn't need to hand them the shovel to dig my grave as well.

  "You can breathe you know."

  I raised my feet so I couldn't be seen and pretended like I was invisible. It's what I truly wanted anyway.

  "I saw you come in here so it's not working."

  I didn't move.

  "Look, I'm not going to tell you not to worry about them because you should. How you managed to not only piss off Kyle McDermott but Ashlynn Stanton is beyond me. You have been here what? Three hours?"

  Well, at least I had the names of my enemies.

  "All right, if you don't want to come out I get it, but listen. Those two have run things since kindergarten. They aren't going away. You either play by their rules or however long you plan to be here will be hell. No one likes them but we have to respect them to survive. Understand?"

  No, I didn't understand. Why would a group of people not stand up to two? The odds were in their favor and yet they bowed down to these two like royalty.

  The door closed letting me know whoever was on the other side of the stall door was gone. I chose to stay on that toilet seat a good five more minutes before I got the courage to flip the latch and walk out of the bathroom with my head held high. I wasn't going to let anyone force me to do anything. I already had my step-dick, I wasn't doing it again for some strangers with hay stuck up their ass.

  "So, you’re finally willing to come out?"

  That damn voice.

  Sure enough, standing across the hall was a girl who couldn't be taller that five feet. Her short brown hair and glasses made her look almost childish in a way. Nothing about her clothes showed she had a sense of style either. Her black t-shirt was oversized and the jeans she wore had holes in the knees. Not the pre-made kind either but ones that had worn through. This was the definition of blend in and not be noticed.

  "Excuse me?"

  "Don't act like you didn't hear me in there."

  I ignored her and started walking down the hall when she followed me still talking.

  "What are you going to do? Please tell me you're not going to try to stand up to them again. There is no hope left if you do that."

  "Listen, I am here to graduate, that's it. I don't care about your cliques and hierarchy. You all can conform to whatever they want you to. But me? I am not one of you."

  She'd been keeping up
with me stride-for-stride until I said that. Little Bit stopped walking and said, "It's your own grave you’re digging."

  That almost had me. The very words I had said to myself were coming back at me.

  "Well then let me dig it."

  I wasn't going to let anyone know how miserable I was. My life was mine. Not one person in this stupid po-dunk town was going to make a difference. No one could.

  Chapter 3

  The rest of the school day went about as good as the beginning. Everyone stared at me, talked about me, but not to me. At least it wasn't behind my back I guess.

  I felt protected in a way while I was in class. No one would be stupid enough to start something in front of a teacher. The halls didn't go so well but I just kept my head down and got to where I needed to be. When school was over, I expected the worst to happen but all of the students rushed out of the classroom as soon as the final bell rang proving me wrong. It's not as if I thought they would lynch mob me but something about it seemed to easy. I waited a few minutes just to be safe before I stood up from my desk just as the teacher Mrs. Hawkins called out my name. I looked up to find her standing at the front of the room with her briefcase in hand.

  "You made it."

  "Excuse me, ma’am? I made it?"

  "Through your first day. You made it. Now every day can get a little easier. By the way, it's nice to have a student who cares about what I am trying to teach. You were a joy to have today."

  "Thank you, ma'am."

  "You're more than welcome, dear. Now go on and enjoy the rest of your day."

  I grabbed my backpack and slung it around my arms when Mrs. Hawkins who had just left the room peeked back in.

  "It's all clear."

  "Ma'am?"

  "The halls are empty. You don't have to stall anymore."

  And then she was gone again.

  I smiled knowing that at the very least the staff at Highgrove High were a pleasant distraction.

  She was right, all the halls were empty and so was the parking lot I noticed once I walked out the doors. I let the cool spring air hit me and thanked the Heavens there were no pastures around. It may have not been an easy first day but I made it through it only crying once and once was more than there should have been.